restoring our biblical and constitutional foundations


Mr. President, Why Stop with Mars?

Phil Veritas

Mr. President, I certainly applaud your desire to jump-start the space program, which has always been a great source of pride in what we Americans can accomplish when we set our minds to something. But why stop with the moon or with Mars? Why not take the nation all the way—to heaven, that is! Heaven on earth, of course, not some pie in the sky lullaby dreamed up by religious sociopaths. Indeed, this is the course you have already set us on. So why not be up front about it?

Many say that you found your life mission on September 11, 2001. You became convinced that God was calling you to engage the forces of evil in battle. And despite great opposition, you have not shrunk from the task, Mr. President. When you spoke to the graduates of West Point you made this clear: “We are in a conflict between good and evil. And America will call evil by its name.” No doubt about it, Mr. President, we are on the side of God in this thing. I especially enjoyed your State of the Union speech, in which you stated: “There is wonder-working power in the goodness and idealism of the American people.” Sadly, most Christians think those words apply to the “precious blood” of Christ. How gullible people can be!

So there you have it: God—and America—on the side of good. I realize that many churches in America oppose the war, including your own, the United Methodists, but their eschatology is just plain wrong. If we don’t deal with the New Babylon, who will? Just wait and see, Mr. President. After the war is over, millions will agree with you that it was divinely ordained, just as you said. How can they say otherwise?

You have defined our enemies by the term “axis of evil.” Your word selection couldn’t have been better. And the day after 9/11 you stated your position on terror: “This will be a monumental struggle of good versus evil, but good will prevail.” Obviously, Mr. President, you have been called by God for such a time as this. Remember what you said in your State of the Union speech: “history has called America and our allies to action,” and that “our calling, as a blessed country, is to make the world better.” Later you declared that “the advance of human freedom—the great achievement of our time and the great hope of every time—now depends on us.”

Mr. President, I trust you will agree that the hope of mankind is not to take an interplanetary plane ride. We seek safety and security, peace in place of chaos. As you put it on the flight deck of the carrier Abraham Lincoln, “Wherever you go, you carry a message of hope—a message that is ancient and ever new. In the words of the prophet Isaiah, ‘To the captives, come out! To those who are in darkness, be free!’” So why not just be open and forthright about your master design for world redemption—as forthright as you were when you told the Palestinian Prime Minister: “God told me to strike at al-Qaida and I struck them. And then He instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East.”

Let those misguided souls who believe that the “wonder-working power” is the gospel of Jesus Christ be forever dismayed! If Americans can put a man on the moon or on Mars, who can stop us from saving the world!

January 14, 2004

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