At a Fork in the Road
Since my last bone and CT scans, I have sensed that God has brought my life to a sort of fork in the road. These scans showed that the cancer is continuing to grow in multiple locations in the lungs, that the lymph nodes are now involved, and that the cancer has spread to 3 places in my bones. Humanly-speaking, it is not a “happy” picture.
Compounding this picture is the reality that I’m at the end of proven medicine. True, there are many more chemo therapies that I could take….but none have been studied and shown effective for my kind of cancer. There are no radiation or surgical options open for me.
So, in my mind, God has brought me along in the Journey to the point where Medicine is likely to be ineffective in treatment. The fork in the road before me presents 2 options: healing or transfer (death).
I want to share with you my prayers about these 2 options. What Medicine cannot do, God is easily able to do. After all, He set the laws for medicine (which produce replicable test results), He created the chemicals used in medicine, He gives reasonable thought processes to scientists and doctors in noting and applying the laws of medicine. And He is the One who microscopically allows or blocks the healing properties of medicine, diet, rest, exercise, etc.
So is it possible for Him to “override” medicine to effect a healing that is inexplicable by Medicine? Absolutely! There is so much that we do not understand in Medicine! Our knowledge is like a teaspoon of water compared to the ocean!
I do not know if the Lord will heal me. But I am absolutely confident that He is able to heal me. And I know from His character that He will make the choice to/not to heal me on the basis of things much more important than mere physical life. His heart throbs with the eternal issues…man’s destiny, His glory, conquering the Enemy. So if He chooses to heal me, it will be for reasons far more important than my mere breathing, walking, and digesting!
My prayer is that if He chooses to heal me, that He will do it in such a way that there is no doubt it was a miraculous intervention by Him, wholly apart from Medicine, yet fully documented by Medicine. In order for this to happen, we must reach the end of Medicine. I want ALL glory to go to Him for the healing, and none of it to go to medicine, diet, lifestyle, etc.
The other fork leads to Transfer by Physical Death. A believer in Jesus Christ, one surrendered to live His life, does not experience spiritual/internal Death. He is transferred immediately into the presence of God Himself. If this is God’s plan for me, then I want to leave earth like Samson.
You remember Samson in the Old Testament. He was a man who from his birth was set aside to be God’s representative; he was to deal with the enemy of Israel (the Philistines), and guide the people of Israel in their relationship with God. Unfortunately, Samson spent his life, not on God’s purpose, but on his own agenda. He acted out his urges, he indulged his ego, and he vented his anger. His whole life was one of selfishness.
(Lest we become too holier-than-thou towards Samson, we must remember that there is some Samson in all of us. We are focused more upon our own agenda and issues than upon God’s purpose in giving us life.)
God allowed Samson’s self-centered living to reap its just reward…and Samson ended up powerless, blind and imprisoned.(This, by the way, is always the end result of living for ourselves!) Finally brought low, Samson remembered why he was born. He remembered God’s purpose in giving him life. The last day of his life, Samson was chained between two pillars, lifted high above the banqueting enemies of God; he was a focus point for mocking and jeering. At that time, Samson asked God to do a great work through him. God heard his prayer, gave him strength, and Samson pulled on the pillars to which he was tied. The whole building came down, and the Scriptures say that Samson did more damage to the enemy in his death than he had in his whole lifetime.
There have been seasons in my life when I lived the life of Samson, intent upon my own issues and agendas. But if God is leading me down that fork in the road towards Physical Death, then I have one prayer. “Lord, make me to do more damage to the Enemy in my death than in my whole life.”
So, there you have it. My perspective of where I’m at in the Journey. I’m at a fork in the road. One fork leads to miraculous healing, and one to physical death. If God puts me on the path to healing, then I pray for it to be done in such a way that He (and only He) gets the glory for the healing, and that the healing issues forth a life that accomplishes His purposes. If God puts me on the path to physical death, then I pray that He will allow me to do more damage to the Enemy of our souls than I have done throughout all my life.
Will you join me in these prayers? And let us watch together as my Lord continues to accomplish His purposes in my life.
March 22, 2012